Final Fantasy 10.2 carries on two years after the end of Final Fantasy 10 and Yuna’s now a popstar, seriously how the fuck did that happen? She couldn’t sing a note in Final Fantasy 10 and yet now she’s singing on stage and it’s not exactly something small and just at the start of the game, it’s a fucking plot point. Wait, wait, shouldn't I look at 10 first, okay Tidus is so annoying that the rest of the game can be awesome and it wouldn't matter. If I saw Tidus on the street, I'd be trying to suffocate him by ramming a wooden spoon down his windpipe and then urinating on his barely dead corpse. Oh spoilers he's already dead, guess I can do either in any order then. Why I bring this up, well after millions cried out for a 7 HD remake, what did square do, 10 and 10.2 and then 8. What is wrong with you Square do you just hate money. No I know what the problem is and it's quite simple, they hate to be shown up. If 7 was re-released then all the new players would see what a good Final Fantasy is and wouldn't buy the newer lazier made garbage they make now.
Anyway back to 10.2. Yuna is revealed to be villianess LeBlanc in disguise and the real Yuna emerges to fight her joining her companions Rikku and Paine. You remember Rikku right, the 15 year old girl from 10 who wore skimpy outfits, again 15!, well in 10.2 it’s worse, at least though she’s 17 and legal and not feel like a fucking pedophile for playing a game designed by perverts with 10, though with the camera angles it's clearly obvious the designers are perverts.
Paine you won’t remember from 10 as she is added as a replacement for Lulu, why they couldn’t just use Lulu and not her write her out with her married to Wakka and pregnant. Oh swallow that thought, Wakka, impregnated Lulu, it’s bad enough of the thought that Wakka got laid, that there’s gonna be a Wakka Jr. running around makes me wanna vomit.
Basically the plot of this game is this, Yuna, Rikku and Paine are sphere hunters who hunt spheres which contains videos from long ago and also have the power to change the girl’s costumes giving them special powers. And yes it brings around my point about perverts designing a game. The ‘Dressspheres’ come in all shapes and sizes, Yuna starting with her gunner, Rikku, theif and Paine warrior, but others like the songstress, black mage, white mage, alchemist, lady luck and more can be unlocked. Now you might be thinking this formula seems familar, well it should cause it’s just a re-tagged job system from Final Fantasy 3, and might I add, the best Final Fantasy game ever made. Yeah that’s right screw 7, 3 is where it’s at.
The story continues as they seek more spheres looking for more clues to find Tidus, yes Tidus. I cheered when that shitstain vanished at the end of 10 and now you have to get him back. That’s like ridding the world from AIDS only to spend the rest of your life in a science lab to recreate the disease, it's like giving the keys of youtube to google, no, you just don’t do it.
On their quest to find fucking Tidus, the girls get involved in the conflict between the two ruling parties of the world, New Yevan and the Youth League. New Yevan? Surely discovering that Yevan was a genocidal monster inside Sin would be a good enough reason to dissolve your religion, then again convincing the religious doesn’t work, how goes the Rapture by the way? Anyway these two groups fight each other and you join one of them, which by the way you can only get 100% completion on this game if you side with the Youth League, so forget New Yevan. Oh and get used to LeBlanc and her flunkies cause these guys constantly come after you and are easy to defeat, seriously these guys lose more than Skeletor. The carries on until you discover the super weapon Vegnagun which stolen by a guy called Shuyin who looks exactly like Tidus. Basically Tidus is an artificial being created by the Fayth from an imperfect memory of Shuyin who turns out to be a genocidal nut job trying to wipe out all existence, you know just like EVERY OTHER FINAL FANTASY VILLIAN!
Somehow, and this is never explained, Shuyin manages to revive and corrupt all the aeons from 10 and you have to kill them again, I’m sorry how does a BLITZBALL player revive super beings and corrupt them, did he order a kit in the mail. So you spend a good portion of the game doing this followed by get this, instead of chasing after Shuyin, instead of rescuing the missing leaders of major parties of the world, you have a concert which you have to do a dancing mini game to prepare for it which is never used in the concert. And then you head to the Thunder plains to have the concert and have to fight a fucking magic proof dragon, one of the cheapest boss fights, ever. And the concert only has one song, admittedly the song is brilliant, no really 1000 words is a song I listen to, to this day, I love this song.
Now we come to the largest portion of the game, sidequests, these are just insane, like one where you get monkey couples together. Hmm breed monkeys or save the world from imminent destruction, hmm, the choices. And a lot of the dressspheres are hidden in sidequests, like the alchemist which is only available by beating a cave of monsters, some of which spam Death and it never misses. Seriously, you use death and it probably works once in the whole game and the enemy can spam the fucking move, kinda takes away the point of leveling up doesn’t it. Oh and Lady Luck is impossible to get. You have to beat a game called sphere break, a needlessly complicated game that makes FF8’s card game sane. And trust me, you need so many moves to win that is just impossible to do and if you do win you get a dresssphere based on luck. You have all played Final Fantasy right, for fuck’s sake, a possibly hit move hits like once or twice through a play through, basing your strategy on luck is like walking through a sea of syrup that’s higher than you, it’s so stupid you’d have to be a complete braindead idiot to do it. Oh and don’t forget Berserker, if you miss it in chapter 3, you can’t get it until you restart the game, what the hell? Every other dresssphere has another chance, but not berserker, why?
Course at the end of the game, the leader of the Youth League, Nooj, yeah that’s his name and by the way you’ll recognise his voice. Not only is his voice artist the same as Sephiroth’s, but it’s the voice of Superman from the Justice League cartoon, yeah, I know right. Anyway Nooj’s plan to take out Shuyin involves a suicide bomb on himself and Yuna stops him saying that Love is the answer, yes because Love is going to take out a world destorying super weapon. I mean come on Yuna, one guy dies, everybody else lives, in the words of Spock, the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one, but no, we have to gun running around hitting body parts of the giant mecha with medieval weapons. But no, Love is what will save the day, except it doesn’t and the game’s finale involves three on one against Shuyin, who fights the same as Tidus right down to his limit break, because yes throwing a ball at enemies is such a deadly attack.
Enemy design is no different from Final Fantasy 10 and you fight the same crap throughout the game, just with different colours, yippee. I’m guessing they didn’t hire a monster designer for this game. Oh and remember when I said about 100% completion before, well just forget it, cause unless you have a strategy guide with you at all times and the patience of a saint, you aren’t gonna do it, and you really want to see the 100% ending, cause it ain’t worth it:
Now really wasn’t that fun, cause it wasn’t for me, and I’ve just saved you the pain of doing 100% on this crap. I really wish we’d gotten Auron back instead, he was awesome.
So is this game bad, well, it’s okay, it’s nowhere near as bad as Final Fantasy 8, 10 or 13 and it can be enjoyable if you skip out the crap sidequests, so if you find it cheap, I’d recommend buying it, but I wouldn’t spend too much on it. So Final Fantasy 10.2 isn't that bad and 10 isn't with the sound off when Tidus is on screen, but you think that's the worst Final Fantasy has come up with, you're dead wrong, next time, we're not even touching the top of the stinkberg.
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