Resident Evil 6

There, just finished transporting all my old pokemon over. Time to catch me some shinies. Oh hey there.

Oh hey Espurr, what's with the staring, what's that you got there?

Espurr, no, I'm not playing that.

Uh, okay, if it'll stop you staring, this is Resident Evil 6.
After the events of Resident Evil 5 where Chris Redfield killed Albert Wesker, the series main villain and that should be it, but no turns out every once in a while a new saturday morning super villain gets a hold of bioweapon that infects loads of people which backfires on them, why do people keep doing that, boy are people in this universe stupid.

The story revolves around three characters, Chris Redfield and his sidekick Piers who fights the super intelligent 'not zombies', chasing after Ada Wong.

Jake Muller and sidekick Sherry who fight the 'not zombies' while escaping from a giant indestructible one, as Jake turns out to be immune to the 'not zombie' virus.

And lastly Leon and sidekick Helena who was forced to work against their boss the US President who is turned into a zombie and they have to fight through the zombies and not the 'not zombies' as they seekout evidence to prove that the main bad guy did it and eventually kill him. Funny how the main story doesn't focus on the new 'not zombies'.

The 'Not zombies' bodies regrow limbs when you blow them off into more monsterous forms as well as some enemies whose limbs attack you seperately and are indestructible. So how does this game work as a survival horror, not really, hmm, here's why....

IT'S NOT FUCKING SCARY!!!!!!

Resident Evil since 4 has been becoming more of an action series more than a horror one, problem is, 4 had the balance right so it was more action based but still scary as fuck, 5 lowered the scares but 6, they're not present at all. Here's the thing what made the old games scary, your ammo was scarce and without ammo, you're defenceless, you had to pick your battles, but in 6, you run out of ammo, just go kick them in the face, everytime.

You know monsters not as scary if they can be taken down with the power of 'ROADHOUSE'.

Imagine if you went through Resident Evil 2 this way, you'd only need ammo on the bosses. But the cutscenes are fantastic, in fact like a movie, oh god that's what this is, isn't it. See there are two Resident Evil movies, you may not have heard of, both of which star Leon Kennedy as the lead, who despite not being in the original has become the franchise's poster boy.

Yes, because that's what we all think of Resident Evil as, movies, okay yes, there are movies, but you're a horror game series, scare me damn it, I've been more scared when shopping on Black Friday, seriously people die on that day. Good thing I had Espurr on me, he'll explode your head, right Espurr.

Right, you really need to be more social. Anywho, the game has a multiplayer mode pinned on where you fight zombies and 'not zombies' in a time limit for a good score or another player can play a zombie and try to kill the human players.

Of course over the internet, you can have other players play your sidekick or play a zombie or 'not zombie' in story mode allowing more skilled players to fuck up a noobs game, of course you could turn off the internet function, but where's the fun in that.

Hey you want to see something funny, here's a new type of zombie.

Holy shit that's a fat bastard of a zombie, wait a minute, where have I seen him before?

Resident Evil 6 isn't a bad game by the way, but it sucks as a Survival Horror Game, and it's mediocre as an action game. But this is where the game's problem truly lies, it wants to be like Call of Duty. What is it with games today doing this, YOU ARE NOT CALL OF DUTY, JUST BECAUSE COD SELLS WELL, DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD BECOME COD! HELL THIS GAME EVEN HAS A COVER FUNCTION AND CHRIS HAS A FUCKING SQUAD!

Of course another problem is the large amounts of QTE's, why do people keep using these, you're just pressing flashing buttons, these are fucking stupid.

But like I said earlier, this game is trying too hard to be a zombie movie and if I wanted to watch a zombie movie, well...

Oh Milla, though I preferred you in....

Yeah Damn straight. So to bring a point, it's an average third person shooter with no horror skills left for the once great horror series. So Espurr, are you happy now?

Okay I'll take that as a yes, I'm The JoelMH, signing off!