Timesplitters Retrospective Part 3: Timesplitters Future Perfect and Timesplitters 4
Hello, I'm The Joel MH and this is the final part of the Timesplitters Retrospective. So, here's the final game in the series to be released, Timesplitters Future Perfect.
Okay trust me when I say this, this is the peak of this franchise, seriously, if you thought 2 was good, this game trumps it, okay the multiplayer has less modes than 2, but it kept the good ones.
Plus you get to drive vehicles in this game, okay you're not really gonna use them much, but come on, why waste bullets when you can paste them on your bumper, and yeah I know you can do this in Halo, but guess what, fuck Halo and it's ducking in the corner healing.
But you know what I'm going to talk about, the story mode and yes there will be spoilers, mainly to explain the mechanics. Cortex returns to earth with the time crystals from Timesplitters 2, to only be shot down as a huge battle between the human resistance and the Timesplitters is waging. Cortez fights his way to the base as a masked man protects him from above. Well Cortez goes back in time to destroy the source of the timesplitters, going through various eras in search of the crystals where they were discovered. However it's not that simple.
Cortez doesn't jump into other people's bodies this time, rather working with the heroes of said age to reach their joint goals and occasionaly Cortez will find himself in an unpassable situation only to find HIMSELF!
Yes you have to use the power of paradoxes to save the world and it's awesome. At times you have to team up with yourself in combat and when your doppelganger takes damage, your vision starts getting covered in cracks like glass, you know timey wimey stuff just ask the Doctor.
No not that Doctor.
Oh fuck off you know which Doctor I mean!
Yeah, now you got it.
Now the story jumps around various timezones again, this time though spending many of these levels in the same period twice, with the levels set in the far future of 2401, 1924 Scotland with Captain Ash ripping off Where Eagles Dare,
1969 Russia with Harry Tipper ripping off Bond,
1994, in a zombie filled mansion with a teenage girl named Jo Beth Casey ripping off Resident Evil,
2052 with Amy Chen in a large Aeon Flux parody,
and 2243 with an android in a Terminator-esque world.
This game is full to the brim with movie references and it is glorious. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGa4jVEE73c
And not just that but the bosses are varied and imaginative and differ depending on the era, for example, in 1924, you fight a tank, in 1969 you fight a mad scientist with flamethrowers on a jetpack and in 1994...
THE DEERHAUNTER, WHAT THE FUCK IT'S A MUTILATED ZOMBIE DEER!
Also added to this game is the Temporal Uplink, okay this existed in 2, but in 2 it's just a radar, but here it's more than that.
THIS SUCKER GIVES YOU MIND BULLETS, THAT'S TELEKINESIS KYLE!
But anyway when the game ends it's a happy ending, the Timesplitters are gone and everyone's happy and everything is finished, or is it, well it is, but that's only cause number 4 didn't come out, because of the fucking game Haze, a game so bad it sunk Free Radical.
Timesplitters 4 was supposed to be made and a lot of work was done for it, hell even adverts for it exist.
Yeah Monkeys, I think the idea was going to be that Cortez's history jumping and paradox making broke the world. And we were getting Job Beth back as a chainsaw wielding nun.
However Crytek who now own the rights say that they're not making a Timesplitters 4 due to it not being popular enough, BULLSHIT, THAT'S THE SAME HORSE CUM THAT SQUARE ENIX SAY ABOUT FINAL FANTASY FUCKING SEVEN! But there is a light at the end of the tunnel, fans are now making a game called Timesplitters Rewind, a PC and PS4 based HD remake, you know what you need to do guys, buy this game when it comes out and if enough of us do this, then maybe we can get Crytek to make TS4.
But all in all Timesplitters is a glorious series you need to pick up as soon as possible, except the first one of course and I bet you're wondering, where's the Mad Max joke, well, I'm Beyond that...
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