Pathetic shadow, at least have the balls to say that to my face instead of through an intercom you elderly bastard. I killed your pokegods, every last one of them, it's just you and me.
You don't mean....
Moemon
This is a hack where Pokemon sprites are replaced with cutesy anime girls dressed in Pokemon outfits. If you thought anime girl mascots of programs was bad, this just takes the damn cake. Who the hell came up with this thing? Essentially the game that you patch is exactly the same except for the sprites, that and all pokemon are female, but just one question… Why? Does anyone else question the idea of capturing small girls and making them fight, what the fuck?
This hack gives me the creeps like when I heard about that opera down town made for pedophiles, seriously, it was called The Magic Flute and it was in A minor.
Pokemon Naranja
This is basically a game version of the second season of the Pokemon Anime, you know the one, where Ash, Misty and Tracey are travelling the Orange Islands all because of the GS Ball, hmm GS Ball, I wonder if that has anything to do with Gold and Silver? Pokemon in the game appear in different colours from the real games just like the cartoon and oh you start with Pikachu no matter what character you choose to play as, Ash or Misty, no joke. The finished game will have only 4 gyms just like the anime with other events taking up the other 4 gym badges slots on the trainer card. Sadly this game is still glitchy and incomplete, but promises to be something good when it’s finished, when that’ll be… well pass. Oh and when I say glitchy, let me put it this way, you leave the first island to head to the island where the 1st gym is and come back, you end up trapped on the island as it’s forgotten the events you unlocked earlier but won’t let you do them again, that’s a big one! Of course there’s only one Pokemon that can learn surf like in the cartoon, Lapras and it has it’s own brilliant sprite. Which would be exciting if X and Y's Lapras didn't have it's own sprite already. Though one good thing is, is that you can catch a crystal onix like the one in the anime.
Pokemon Brown
This is the best Pokemon hack there is, no kidding. Created by Koolmanboy, the game is a hack of Pokemon Red, set in the region of Rijon, you travel the country doing the usual catch pokemon and fight gym leaders. But the game has something red doesn’t newer monsters from the 2nd generation and even later ones than that, redesigned to fit in 8 bit. New types have been added such as gas and wind, they may not be perfect but at least he’s tried. I was going to say something about game freak and gold and silver, but we just got fairy type so I'm not saying anything. The SS. Anne does appear in this game, but you can’t actually board it which is a shame, but out of all the hacks shown here, this is the only complete one. The gyms are far different from Pokemon Red starting with the water gym with it’s leader Karpman. Ha, I’m laughing so fast that it looks like I’m frowning. WORST PUN EVER!
Pokemon Prism
Another Koolmanboy creation, yes I know he’s featured twice, but bring that up with the evil old dude making me review these. Moving on, Pokemon Prism centres on the
child of Lance, I say child as gender selection is available, anyway
after messing around with a minecart, you crash it and find yourself
alone in a dark cave until you find a larvitar who joins you and becomes
your starter pokemon.
This is where it gets interesting, there are sections where
Larvitar crawls through a hole to press a button to let you through a
doorway, which you control by the way. In other words there are sections
where you can play as a member of your party, let loose on their own to
help the trainer move on forward. Playing as a pokemon is such a
brilliant idea, why hasn’t this been in real Pokemon games, it’s
ingenius, you send one of your monsters out alone and so they have to
fight with no trainer help to do puzzles so you can move forward, it
works so well. Okay it has been in real pokemon games such as the mystery dungeon series and pokepark, but I mean playing one of your party to solve a puzzle for you like this game does.
Other add-ons include being able to change the sprite of the
trainer in the overworld, there is a shop where you can change your
appearance, this is a good idea, seriously, what is the one thing you
want to be able to do in the real games, decide what your trainer looks
like, this is such a good step in the right direction. I say step as this was before X/Y which now lets you do that for realisies.
Side scrolling sections like the tunnels from the Zelda Game Boy
colour games, this may not change too much to the formula, but it’s
refreshing, different rooms having different ways of moving around works
really well and doesn’t feel awkward at all.
You are able to mine for items as well, as long as you have found a
pick axe, however these things break very easily, so it’s luck if you
find anything good. Just like Pokemon Brown, this features monsters that
were unavailable in Pokemon Gold’s generation in reduced graphics,
which doesn’t look too bad at all.
The game has got it’s fair share of minigames such as the Magikarp
Temple, trust me when I say this, that minigame, is HARD, it took
forever to beat, I’ve taken less time with end of game Layton puzzles,
and I mean the hard ones not the stupid pull out the right sword one,
that one was just lame. Basically you getted transformed into a magikarp
and won’t get changed back until you navigated the maze to it’s
end. But do you wanna see weird, what about a haunted forest, but do you
wanna know what’s there, not ghost Pokemon, no, the one creature that
Nintendo sealed away, so horrifying it can rewrite the world as we know
it, Missingno! A forest filled with Missingno! Just see if I’m kidding!
Sadly while this game is awesome enough to surpass brown, it’s yet
to be finished and it’s last demo was released a couple of years ago, so
it’s in doubt that this game may ever be finished, the demo covers all
events leading up to the beating of the 4th gym and no more. But I bet
you’re wondering how there aren’t very many fan games and why virtually
none are finished, well a few years ago Nintendo clamped down on most of
these games and to be honest you can’t really blame then as people were
selling this games to people, though these people weren’t the creators,
who generally gave them away for free. There are other hacks, some of
them especially small like the fire red hack which makes the myth about
mew under the truck at the harbour real, but many of them aren’t that
spectacular and in most cases, you are better off with the real deal,
but if you do wanna try a hack Prism and Brown are good bets and to a
lesser intent Naranja, but Moemon, I’d keep away from that one. So you old bastard you going to let me in yet?
You asked me earlier what MH stands for, well it stands for catching those who are tameable in fair battles or slaying those who are irredemable, those who are destructive to everything around them...
ONE HOUR LATER
REVIEW: Castlevania: Lords of Shadow
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