Hello Again, TheJoelMH here continuing where I left off yesterday, but now I have a new gadget to help with the measuring, it's called the Piece of Shit gauge or as I call it, the Honey Boo Boo-Ometer.
It goes from the Pokemon Ranger movie, next to straight to dvd disney movies, spiderman the musical, Tim Westwood, Charlie's Angels on PS2, Batman and Robin from 1997, Jersey Shore and lastly to Honey Boo Boo. So let's begin.
10. Mr Polka Dot AKA Abner Krill
Mr Polka Dot wears a polka dot costume whose spots turn into all sorts of weapons and gadgets whose crimes made a stick figure on the map of gotham. Of course one of said dot weapons is a buzz saw so this could of been effective in some sort of alternate reality run by chipmunks. Let's see how far on the meter he is.
Huh, Pokemon Range movie, so not that bad yet.
9. Batzarro
Hold up just listen, Bizarro... Batzarro. Yes a failed clone of Batman who calls himself the World's worst detective and shoots couples in crime alley. Oh god this is awful, but I have to admit it did give me a chuckle, let's check the meter.
Disney movies it is then.
8. Composite Superman AKA Joe Meach
A man working at the superman museum struck by lightning which somehow gave him superman's powers and for some reason dresses like a half superman and batman with intent to destroy the two. The only thing this character did for the world was cause the creation of Composite Santa from Robot Chicken, check the meter.
Somewhere between disney dvd movies and spiderman the musical.
7. Kite Man AKA Charles Brown
Okay, dude flies kites to commit crimes, douche can be taken down by a fucking breeze going the wrong way. Kite Man is based on Charlie Brown and his love of kites. Meter now.
Spiderman the musical, there's plenty of villains left and plenty of meter to go.
6. Crazy Quilt AKA Paul Dekker
A painter who became blind and after experimental surgery sees again in bright lights that drive him insane and he dressed like a mosaic and has a coloured light changing helmet. So what's it to do with Quilts, zilch, meter.
Tim Westwood, ooh how much worse can it get...
5. Ten Eyed Man AKA Philip Reardon
Another blind man who had experimental surgery that put tiny eyes on his fingertips, this is so useful, except when you open doors or do anything with you hands that isn't pointing, sigh, do I need to say it.
not even Charlie's angels, really.
4. Condiment King
He fights Batman with guns filled with ketchup and Mustard, KETCHUP AND MUSTARD. So why is he not number 1. Well unlike the others he was always meant to be pathetic. Meter Ahoy...
There it is.
3. The Eraser AKA Lenny Fiasco
The Eraser's job was to clean up crime scenes, but why oh why dress as a giant pencil. The Eraser's shoes were tipped with pencil point blades which could emit sleeping gas and his eraser on his head could get rid of fingerprints, because that's what you do rub your head against evidence, yo meter now.
Batman and Robin, now we're getting somewhere.
2. Mr Camera
He wears a helmet that is a giant camera, do you know what that is, you are as useful as the picto box from wind waker.
Wow just over Jersey Shore, oh it's coming we're gonna get Boo Boo on the meter, I just know it.
1. Penny Plunderer AKA Joe Coyne
This dude is so bad, he is wrote out of the DCU. Let me explain, you know that giant coin in the batcave.
Yeah that one, this guy made it originally. See he would commit crimes with pennies as the theme. However when Batman was updated for the newer era of comics, this villains was deemed so bad that he was retconned and the coin now belongs to Two-Face, no matter how bad the others were, they still exist in some way in the DCU. So let's see the meter already, show me Honey Boo Boo!
Wait a minute, where's... where's the arrow?
OH MY GOD! It's broke free of the meter, it's over 9000 shits, it's reached Gigashits, dear god, it's reached Iain Duncan Smith levels, dear god everybody run, it's not safe,I've been TheJoelMH, running away in terror. OH GOD WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!
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