Wet

EARLIER...

Hi I'm The Joel MH and as you can see I've been expanding my line up, isn't that right Haunter?

Now a game review, hmm, okay here's Wet.

Wet is a grindhouse movie made into a game, not literally, as there is no Wet movie, but it's style is of a grindhouse movie. The story follows Rubi Malone, hired gun who performs Wetwork which is jobs that require mass amounts of killing, hence the name Wet. But back to the movie thing, there's a constant grain on the gameplay making it look like an old movie and occassionaly random cutscenes, nothing to do with the plot will appear such as about getting some popcorn to see the rest of the movie with.

PLOT
The game opens up with Rubi trying to recover a package and then cuts to the main story after this as Rubi is double crossed on a mission and goes on a quest for revenge.

MAIN CHARACTER

Rubi Malone is a 'Bad Girl', constantly pissed, only thinking about revenge, I don't know what else to tell you.

GAMEPLAY
This is where this game drops the ball. Wet has a fantastic play style, allowing you to run up walls and across them, swing on poles, ride down ropes, slide down ladders shooting, sliding while shooting, using two guns which you aim one and the other auto targets another enemy in Matrix ripping off Bullet time (and yes I'm aware Max Payne did it first)...

But the guns are crap, the accuracy of the guns is poor and as is their firepower, you can unleash tons of firepower into basic enemies and they don't fall down, but luckily the sword you carry slaughters them so well, that you don't use the guns really ever unless it's a stationary one and that's quite sad, as you also get a shotgun, machine gun and a crossbow with explosive rounds. But some enemies, i.e. minibosses, cannot be touched with the sword until they get staggered and then you can use it, IN A GODDAMN QUICKTIME!

Of course by picking up power ups and kills you build up a score which can be used to power up weapons, but those power ups feel lack lustre barely doing anything for them. Another thing is something call 'Rage Mode', when Rubi gets blood on her face, she gets pissed off so much, she's next to invincible and slaughters tons of enemies to rock music, by the way, the music is excellent, but these only occur at certain points in the game and is just trying to rip of Tarantino, but then again this whole game is doing that.

But despite these problems, the game does have a distinct feel that make it alright to play, well if it wasn't for the endless hoards of the SAME GODDAMN ENEMIES! Oh and rooms where you have to smash all the doors so the enemies stop coming at you. This game has no bosses, Oh I'm sorry it has one, if you can call it that, but I'll get to that. But first there are a few levels which break from the norm, the car chase levels which have you leaping from cars at high speed on motorways, which is FUCKING AWESOME!!!! Even if it is filled with fucking QTE's.

But on the other hand, there's a level where you fall from a plane. When this was done in Saint's Row 3 it was FUCKING AWESOMESAUCE!!!

Wet's not so much as you spend more time just free falling, avoiding shit that kills you in one hit which is impossible to do on the first try as shit will come at you in ways you won't know until it's too late, requiring it to be a memory game. But the final boss, well in the game there are two assassins as your enemies, one is lamely only fought in a cutscene which you have ZERO input in, well apart from a couple of button presses, and the other as the final boss. Okay her name is Tarantula.

A blind albino assassin ninja with bladed guns, this fight could have been awesome, but guess how you fight her, QTE's, nothing but QTE's, YOU HAD THIS PERFECT FINAL BOSS OPPORTUNITY, WRAPPED UP FOR YOU BY THE GAMING GODS, AND YOU GO WITH QTE'S, IT'S LIKE IF I BUILT A FUCKING GIANT MECH AND USED IT FOR PICKING FLOWERS, IT'S... IT'S...

Sorry, sorry, I'm better now. Anywho this game to summarise had tons of potential, it could have been amazing, but it's obsession with QTE's which the industry needs to grow out of by now, BECAUSE THEY SUCK YODA'S LEFT TESTACLE! If I wanted to play a rhythm game, I'd play Dance Dance Revolution or fucking Guitar Hero not a love letter to Tarantino, a game filled with scenes like running through burning buildings and explosions galore, shouldn't have this shit and oh GUNS THAT FUCKING WORK!

So Haunter, I guess it's time we try and find out who left you behind.

Oh shit what was that, oh no not you.

ELSEWHERE, LATER ON...

TO BE CONTINUED...