Long long ago in the dark ages of the internet, the year 1998, a game was released to english audiences, Pokemon Red and Blue, the story of a 10 year old kid named Ash who went on a quest to catch monsters and fight other trainers and become the best there ever was and too ‘Catch em all’. Originally know in Japan as Pocket Monsters Red and Green in 1996, the games were re-released as Pokemon Blue but for us they remade again as Red and Blue.
Now the reason Pokemon is called what it is apprentally due to a licensing issue as there was already a toy range called ‘Monsters in my Pocket’, though personally I think it’s due to the fact it’s a cock joke waiting to happen. Shortly after the games were released we were ‘treated’ to the Pokemon Anime, which wasn’t a bad show, well until the americans bought the shows license and it just recycled the same ten plots. Seriously they must have like two hats, one with ten plots in it and the other with what pokemon will be involved. However the anime spawned a third game, which is also responsible for every generation up to Black and White to have a third slighty altered game. Crystal gave us genders and the whole suicune arc, emerald made it so you could get a lv70 to fight at the elite four and the battle frontier which got phased out in the 5th generation, and Platinum, alternate Giratina and Shaymin, that’s about it. Pokemon Yellow on the other hand allowed you to start off with Pikachu, so you could be like anime Ash. They based a game off a cartoon, based off a video game, does that sound like a good idea, I dunno shall we ask ‘Street Fighter The movie: The Video Game’.
Anyway the game starts out the same as Red and Blue at first, Ash goes to the lab, Oak isn’t there and you try and go in the wild grass, BUT, when Oak drags you out he gets attacked by a Pikachu and catches it. When heading to his lab, he only has an Eevee to give you and Gary steals it so Oak gives you the Pikachu. Funny how that’s the only Pikachu on Route 1 and in fact the whole game. Pikachu however hates pokeballs and follows you around on foot and talking to him shows how happy he is, which trust me, making this little shit nugget happy is like painting the cistine chapel.
Also, what parent lets their 10 year old children leave home with a yellow rat to protect them in a world of monsters and also if all children leave home and become trainers at 10 years old, how does anything in this world run, everybody’s education ends at 10, so everybody is uneducated and this goes for all games prior to Black and White since the kids you play are much older and are around 16 at least I hope since those shorts the female trainer wears cannot be a good thing if she’s younger. Anyway the plot returns to much of the same as Red and Blue till about Mt.Moon, you’re about to leave when suddenly you get attacked by Jessie and James and Meowth, the only rocket members to wear white instead of black, why was that anyway, were they high ranking, cause in the cartoon all they do is get their heads kicked in each week, but then again, in their first appearance they were pretty badass and become useless idiots overtime. Also back to the whole 10 year old out in the world, there are known TERRORISTS running around, cause that’s what Team Rocket are and you think letting your 10 year old kids run around unsupervised is a good idea. Mrs Ketchum, you are the single worst parent ever and so is every parent of every pokemon trainer that has ever been prior to Black and White. Oh and have a fun time fighting Brock as no pokemon that is available can super effective his monsters, your own only hope is to catch a caterpie or metapod and evolve them into Butterfree and learn confusion, cause unlike the cartoon, THUNDERSHOCKS, DON’T SET OFF FIRE SPRINKLES!
When at Cerulean City you can find two of the red and blue starters, Charmander is simply given to you by a kid on a route north of the city while Bulbasaur, well to get this guy your Pikachu needs to be at max happiness, and trust me when I say this, GIVE UP ON BULBASAUR NOW! I got squirtle from Vermillion City from Office Jenny, and raised it to Wartortle and Charmander to Charmeleon and Pikachu was finally happy enough at LV30, and I got a LV10 Bulbasaur, and it’s like for feck sakes, I’ve already got a full party, it’s too late to change it now and I’m not taking forever to raise a monster up 20 levels because the game is too stupid to give it to you at a right time, cause what a little yellow rat is unhappy cause he faints all the time. THAT’S WHAT PIKACHU’S DO! Seriously they’re cute and all and I quite like them for that, but in actual battle, they suck, let me make that absolutely clear, oh yeah they’re fast and have good electrical attacks but a good hit from a monster even 5 levels below it’s level and they faint in one hit, ONE HIT! So at this point in the game, you really need a party and fast as this little douche goes down faster than an essex whore. But on a plus side, you can just put him away and use other monsters, heck you could use all three starters in your party, so in that respect it can be better than Red and Blue but the start lets it down, maybe that’s why when we got Fire Red and Leaf Green, we didn’t get Lightning Yellow, cause YELLOW SUCKS!
Throughout the game, the story is much the same as Red and Blue with some add in Jessie and James battles and even ends the same. But one kinda okay aspect is that you can manipulate what eevee evolution Gary has, if you want him to have Vaporeon, simply lose the first battle with Gary in Oak’s Lab after you deliver Oak’s Parcel followed by winning the battle near Viridian City on the route to the Pokemon League. For Flareon, win the match with Gary at Oak’s lab, then lose any of the other matches, except for any of them after Silph Co. To get Jolteon, just win everything and as I don’t like to lose matches I always end up with Jolteon.
Another change to the game was the loss of the legendary Missingno. glitch which means you had to play fair, cause I never used that cheat honestly, what honestly.
The game had a hidden bonus game on it, and oh boy was that a bastard to unlock. To get said bonus game, you have to beat the Prime Cup on Pokemon Stadium for the N64, a game which allowed you to fight your game boy monsters in tournaments in grand 3d graphics. What’s the prime cup you may ask, well it’s a tournament for level 100s which is hard enough as it its, but oh no, your pikachu had to fight in every match, a monster that could be beaten by a sock puppet, in every match. And do you wanna know what this mini game you unlock is, a surfing game and this also allows Pikachu to learn Surf, cause in one episode as a joke, he rode on a surf board as a room got flooded.
That’s worse than the most recent stunt of an airline giving away a free Flying Pikachu cause he’s strapped to balloons.
But for a game that’s supposed to be like a cartoon is Misty and Brock travelling with you, no, did Misty’s bike get struck by Pikachu’s lightning, no, so if it was nothing like the cartoon then, WHAT WAS THE FECKING POINT! Sadly most of these 3rd games have no point the exception being Pokemon Crystal which was so good, it’s elements carried on to the Pokemon Gold and Silver remakes, Heart Gold and Soul Silver as the Suicune hunt remains, though outside Bill’s house instead of the Tin Tower and the pokemon following part of Yellow was added to Pokemon Heart Gold and Soul Silver, though is missing from Black and White as those games were being made around the same time and it was too late to add it in. So do I recommend Pokemon Yellow… honestly no. Go Play Red or Blue or better Fire Red and Leaf Green they added more and put Moltres in a sane place rather than right at the end where it’s useless. But I've heard of some people asking for a yellow remake on the 3ds as well as a ruby and sapphire remake and to be honest despite my bitching it wouldn't be so bad, because of fire red and leaf green, we're not likely to ever see another red and blue or gold and silver remakes thanks to heartgold and soulsilver, so the only way we could ever see Kanto in fully fledged 3d would be to remake yellow. Now what would I want to see in a yellow remake, well, for one instead of the sevii islands, what they were quickly based on with it's 4 badge league, the orange islands.
Cause if we're gonna do this, we're gonna do it right. The orange league's 4 badges are:
The Coraleye Badge
Searuby Badge
Spikeshell Badge
Jadestar Badge
This also includes a champion as well who has a party of Ditto, Onix, Gengar, Venusaur, Electabuzz and Dragonite. Why did this not happen in Fire Red and Leaf Green? Well, I should imagine there was not enough room on the cartridges, but now on those massive 3ds cards, well only time will tell, well and The Doctor, somebody find me the Doctor, I'm The JoelMH signing off.
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