Sonic 2 Master System

                     

Hello, I’m MH, today I’m going to look at one of the worst atrocities Sega has ever come up with, Sonic the Hedgehog 2. Before you all come and set fire to me, I’m not talking about Sonic 2 on Mega Drive aka Genesis, no I’m refering to the version on Sega Master System as well as Game Gear. Both machines played with 8 bit graphics, but one was handheld and the other was a home console that predated the Mega Drive, created in an attempt to out do Nintendo’s NES, back in the days when Alex Kidd was the mascot, sad really. Many Sonic games were released for the Master System, for example a different version of Sonic 1, with it’s own stages different from the Mega Drive, such as Jungle zone and Bridge Zone and hell it came built in with 50% of Master System 2’s the other half being Alex Kidd. Course this game had the issue of no rings in any bosses not just the last like in the Mega Drive equivalents.  But this is the least of the game’s problems. 

                           

Sonic 2 on Mega Drive starts you off on Emerald Hill Zone, a level designed to let the player get used to the controls, while the Master System version, well it throws immediately into a lava filled nightmare of minecarts and crumbling ceiling spikes and unseeable jumps… on LEVEL 1! Look I get it, you wanted to do something different from Sonic 2 on Mega Drive, not just degrade the game, I respect that, but come on, the difficulty is so unbalanced, the levels difficulty fluxuate so much. And as I was saying about unseeable jumps, believe me when I say this, leaps of faith are mandatory in this game, the scrolling of the screen is terrible. So let’s have a look at the levels layout shall we, inside a volcano, followed by in the sky, next a lake and then Green Hill…. WHY IS IT THAT THE FOURTH ZONE!? Okay it’s a hard version of Green Hill but it’s still sodding easier than that first zone. Fifth is essentially Scrap Brain Zone, the sixth is a level filled with pipes that lead to a battle against Silver Sonic, basically Metal Sonic before they got the final design down. The last zone is a realm of crystal which is only accessible with 6 chaos emeralds.

                            

Whilst the Mega Drive version had Tails following behind Sonic, the plot of Sonic 2 on Master System had Sonic rushing in to save Tails from Dr. Robotnik’s clutches and if you don’t have 5 emeralds when you kill Silver Sonic, you get the bad ending of Tails dying. So you work through the game, blistering your thumbs, rage quitting several times and here’s your reward for missing one shiny stone, FUCK YOU GAME! If you somehow do have all 5, you get a 6th from Silver Sonic.  While Sonic 2 on Mega Drive had stages of mass amounts of speed whilst this game didn’t have any of that with no speed up boxes to be found at all and no special stages as the emeralds are hidden in small corners of the levels that you need a strategy guide to find and did I also mention no spin dash. I know it’s a lower rate console but this game could of at least been more about running than standing in place checking to see if you’re next jump won’t kill you horrifically.

                           

The bosses of this game, well let me put it to you this way, I have NEVER beaten the first boss, whilst I’ve beaten the rest thanks to the level select cheat and boy is that a nightmare to input since it involves a certain time when Tails blinks on the title screen. The first boss the Antlion starts out as Sonic rolls down a ramp and goes flying over lava and as he’s about to fall to his death, Dr. Robotnik grabs him and carries him up to the boss room. Just a question Robotnik, why did you save him, are you Dr. Evil or something?

I mean come on Robotnik just sit back and watch as the dumb retard leaps head on into a pit of lava and burns to death, your nemesis would then be dead and nobody could stop you destorying the world, I mean at this point Sonic’s only got one friend and he’s kidnapped by you right now. Once that’s done put a bullet in Tails’ head and go sun yourself on the beach and drink up some beer for fuck’s sake. Anyway the boss, the antlion is at the bottom of a diagonal pit, if you get to close you die, but robotnik is up top chucking cannonballs at you which somehow bounce in completely random ways and you have no idea where they’re gonna go and they get faster and faster and it’s just unbeatable.

                            

At least the bosses after are a little easier such as a robotic ostrich and it’s chicks, a robotic sea lion for example and they do get harder again, but it’s just so unbalanced. This game is the bane of my existence, I’ll never truly beat it, I’ve only ever seen the bad ending.

Well I have seen the good ending, but that’s thanks to Youtube. So to summarise, this game licks the shitskids in my toilet.