The Joel MH: 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand

Hello, I'm The JoelMH and yes we're doing this. This is 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand.

Yes welcome to the world of 50 cent's masturbation fantasies, where 30p himself goes on a quest to get back a diamond encrusted skull which was stolen from the dude who was supposed to pay him as before hand all his money was robbed, hold on a tick, did the robbers just not leave, if they took the money why didn't they take the priceless skull.

So the game is a pretty standard third person shooter, four types of weapons, pistols, short range which include uzis and shotguns, long range which is assault rifles some with sniper sights and special which is basically rocket and grenade launchers which with many of the bosses requiring the rocket launcher, won't be used. These items are bought with money using a payphone which several are hidden in each level.
Also hidden in each level are targets to shoot and posters to rip down which increase your score, the better the score, the better the rewards. The rewards you say, 50 Cent music, promotional art and videos.

Also purchasable are different close combat kills, different QTE's which can be done for close up kills for better points, ranging from beating a man to death to stabbing him repeatedly.

Also accompanying you is a member of 'G UNIT', basically three different 'homies' who do the exact same thing, shoot bad guys and react to your commands of helping you open doors and boost you up to a ledge.This however can be taken over by another player at any time if your settings are set to open. And also like all modern shooters, you health regenerates overtime. But what is new is that if your kill bonus, yes, good shots and continuous kills builds a bonus, your pistol is automatically selected to shoot either explosive rounds or fire ones which burn the enemy to death and impact others.

Of course the gameplay isn't entirely a TPS, three levels shake it about, two driving stages in a jeep where player 1 drives and the cpu or player 2 takes the gun. These can be quite enjoyable and it's a shame these aren't used more. So too is the helicopter one, were both players sit in the chopper shooting miniguns and rockets from above in a on rails shooter.

Sadly though the bosses are far from imaginative as pretty much all of them bar one are attack choppers,the other one just being a dude who can go down in one hit.

The story is absolutely non-sensical with the main villain being killed halfway through the game being replaced with a new one you never heard of, with another one who just sprang up earlier on, with the final level with another villain who was around earlier, but doesn't do much. Well the game ends with the skull being recovered, what you didn't really think 30p was going to lose in his own masturbation fantasy did you and the villain is left to die in a desert, the end. And so what do I think of it, well despite my bitching, I actually kind of like it. It's better than some other third person adventures I've played lately.

So as much as I don't really care for rap music, with the exception of Kanye West's Power, the game is pretty darn good on it;s own, yeah the story is absolute dribble but sometimes that's a good thing, I mean what highly cerebral storyline were we going to get from a 50 Cent game. Still could be worse, could be an Eminem game. God I hate him.